Monday, July 5, 2004

Postcard from the edge.

Hey, there! Just checking in. The break is going well. It was much needed and I wish I had done it sooner. A word of advice: Don’t let yourself get to the point where you are so burned out you cease to function, especially if it’s affecting your life outside improv. And if you don’t have a life outside improv, you’re in too deep. Take a step back.

I’m glad I didn’t go away completely. I am sure I would never come back. I have felt myself slipping away once or twice as it is, even while I’m watching shows. Especially while I’m watching shows. I get that “I can’t do that, I’m not quick/smart/funny/whatever enough” feeling and want to give up. Or, as Scott puts it, I start “being a flake again”. Then I remind myself that those feelings are why I’m taking a rest. And I look at the people all around me, people I love and who love me back, and I feel better.

Thank God for TLaG. Saturday’s practice and show were so much fun. If I could let myself achieve that level of absolute trust with everyone, I would be fine. I feel bad about that, because I think I owe all of my scene partners absolute trust. That’s a tough one for me, largely because of personal history and also because of some early improv experiences that maybe were not as supportive as they could have been.

That being said, if I can do it with TLaG, if I can do it with Kit and Bryan, I should be able to figure out how to do it with anyone. I just have to relax and give myself time.

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